latest hilarious jokes about Lunarpages webhosting company

محروم.كوم · #1 04-11-2010, 04:20 AM

Here are the latest hilarious jokes about Lunarpages webhosting company:
1.Is your website still running ?
A webmaster once siad to me : "It's very hard to create a website, but it's so easy to shut it
down".
It is so easy for Lunarpages to shut down your website. No matter how many years you spent, money
you paid, hard work you did, they just can.
Mr Vladimer said : "Oh! We noticed that your website runs on our servers", so he decided to shut it
down.
2.The greatest of all times
Their great plans, their competetive prices, their quick responce and support...Lunarpages is the
greatest of all times. When enciant egyptians built Pyramids, Lunar representatives was there
offering a Pyramid plan. Lunar soldiers faught against the Natzies in the 2nd world war using the
antinatzy plan. Lunar space plan helped landing on the moon during the sixties.
3.It's not up to you !
It's not up to you to chose what hosting plan is best for you.
Mr Vladimir himself once said : "We are sorry for the inconvinience", and then shut down a website.
The website owner can't afford a dedicated server."You have to buy it !" said Mr Vladimer.
Lunarpages does not care for the poor.
4.How Lunarpages Faces Attacks !
They face attacks by shutting down websites
haha
Mr Vladimir Putin himself - as it turns out that he works for Lunarpages - said : "Hey ! We have to
shut down your website because,,, maby,,, someone is trying to attack it !"
:roflmao:
5.We Lunarpages have decided to rename our company into Jesuspages !
No more adult content ! Halalooooya
6.They collect garbages too !
Lunarpages system administrators like to sneak on our websites ! from time to time they login
secretely into your website ( like night theives), sneak on your files, sniff your database, collect
sensitive data then sneack out !
They enjoy doing that.
Mr Vladimer said : "We have a copy of every email sent by your website on file !". They collect
garbages too !
7. Advice to avoid server loads
The shared hosting offered by Lunarpages is realy a blast !
If you are a former Lunarpages client, you might have noticed that their servers are always loaded.
Nerly 99% offline time is garanteed by Lunarpages due to server loads. Please keep your files to the
minimum. You need to be careful not to upload JPG images, instead you are adviced to convert to GIF
!
haha

8. A broke webmaster once said : "Be aware of Lunarpages, No matter how many times they ask, do not
ever provide the last 4 digits of your credit card !"
Not very fiew incedents indicates that providing your sensitive data to Lunarpages can have
desastrous consiquences on your safety. The responsible staff of accounting are from India and
Romania. The webmaster mentioned did provide some extra info too, but data must be protected on
Lunarpages.
9. A deseased webmaster last words to his sun: "My sun! the world of webhosting is full of Lunar

Pages...they are everywhere". They are spamming Google-search with hundreds of fake client-reviews
websites full of honey talk about their privelages. They pay a lot of our money to hide their truth.
Try this seach word to see what I mean : "Lunarpages Sucks".

10. Lunarpages Domain For After Life !
Lunarpages do simpathy with people having deadly illnesses. They have their own free helth care
program. They even offer : "A Domain For After Life !". After they pass away they can still maintain
their rights.

11. Lunarpages Anonymous domain registration
Good news for the outlaws ! With the anonymous domain registration offered by Lunarpages you can
easily hide your identity from the police.
Just do it and we - The Lunarpages - take the blame for you.
In cases your anonymous website hits hard, they deny you.
Mr.Vladimer said : "Because your domain is anonymous, you never existed". The poor webmaster is now
suffering from multy personality disorder !

12. Lunarpages Lunched a TV station !
The lunarpages exagitive manager is a big fan of Fashion TV...So he woke up this morning and said
"We love Lunar TV !"
13. Lunarpages Loans !
After a huge discouns racing, the Lunarpages hosting plans prices hit the bottom of (0). The
exagitive manager of Lunarpages offered loans ! You may get Lunarpages loans coupons from any market
or store nearby.
14. Lunarpages Unlimited Storage
Google was very intemitated by the Lunarpages unlimited storage and bandwidth slogan so they decided
to get their own webhosting plan up and move it all.
15. Lunarpages Support tickets
Lunarpages hires more that 1500 tecknicians, about 1491 are for support tickets only !
Support tickets does not requier too much knowledge . You may apply for a job at the the Lunarpages
support center if you have some ticket skills. A Lunarpages tecknician once responded to a support
ticket raised by a customer claiming his own account login saying : "You bet !"

16. here's a new one :
If you ever decided to host your PHP based website with Lunarpages, be sure to read the PHPinfo
carefully because you may have to set :
allow_lunarpages_to_collect_garbages = false
hahaha

17. Alright here's a new one about the Lunarpages's reviews :
A former Lunarpages client wrote in his review : "Lunarpages Sucks !".
A representative of Lunarpages called him and offered a abride, the former client adjusted his
review to "Lunarpages Ducks!".
The representative called back and asked to change again, offering more brides.
The former client adjusted his review to "Lunarpages F..cks!".
No matter how you describe Lunarpages. It still the same !
18. Here's a new one about how Lunarpages disturb thier clients :
A former website owner hosted on Lunarpages was arguing -all the time- with a Lunarpages support

assistant to keep his website alive :
"You Lunarpages dont let me take a rest !" he said. "I can't sleep at night wondering if my website
is still running... They bother me with hundreds of system messages, tens of suspentions, southands
of billing receipts, and after all I wake up to find my website down !"
Later, the Lunarpages support assistant passed away. The website owner attended his fumeral and said
on his soul "Now I may rest in peace !"

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19.Our voices need to be heard
We, the Lunarpages victems, are raising the voice against the Lunarpages policies. We have the right
to publish all kinds of critisism and disclaimer about Lunarpages policies through this forum
because they don't allow us to be heard on their own forums.
They shut up our voices on lunarforums, by banning us or having our posts modified.
We need honesty.
We need the truth about what is going on Lunarpages...
Let Lunarpages clients express what they experienced with Lunarpages, let them talk. I'm sure a lot
will come out.
Lunar Victems
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