two servers long remote connection
 

we had to separate mysql from the forum because of high cpu usage. we setup a remote mysql user, changed config.php to use the remote IP address and remote dbuser.

everything seems to work well as far as the server load goes but now we get long initial connection times.

we believe it's the time it takes to connect to the remote database because we see "Website found waiting for reply" and once it connects it loads just fine.

any suggestions on how to fix this?