english jokes
 

english jokes



There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets.
She yelled at him,Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume

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Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.


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Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"


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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.


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Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."


Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

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Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: " Billionaire

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Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.



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Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

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TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.


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Girl: Mom! Ravi gave me Rs.10 to climb the coconut tree.
Mom : Idiot… he fooled you, he wanted to see your pantie.
Girl: I am smart… I didn’t wear pantie

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